More Pictures

I'm so thankful for pictures. I have looked through the same stack of pictures a thousand times since my mom got so sick in June. Pictures have a way of helping you remember and notice things you otherwise might not. I know this one is not of my mom, but I couldn't help but notice that my sister has on a church dress and is riding a three-wheeler with my dad. What mom would let their child do such a thing?!?!?! :)
This picture was taken the same day as the other one...my first birthday. I loved that my sister has on my mom's shoes in this picture. (Well, I'm assuming they are my moms. They aren't my Mammaw's!) I can just see my mom taking her shoes off and letting Kara tramps around the yard!
My mom LOVED the water and sun! My memories of summer were of us in the pool, all day, everyday. Either my mom or dad won this raft from somewhere, and it was not a good raft to lay on because it was so flat, so we used it as a surf board. My mom would stand there and help us get our balance, then we would compete to see how long we could stay on the board. This was a "pool favorite" and I'm pretty sure the raft (that was made from styrofoam) was in shreds by the time we threw it away.
I'm not sure what year this was, or how much snow we got, but I was probably in second grade. My mom went to Dallas for a meeting and got stuck there for several extra days because of all the snow. I'm sure my dad could tell the whole story, but I think he ended up having to wire money out to my mom because she didn't take any extra cash or credit cards with her. I think she learned her lesson about traveling unprepared!This picture is from when my mom broke her ankle. I was in third grade and mom made big plans for everyday of our spring break. (Funny now that I don't remember what we were supposed to do the rest of the week!) On the Tuesday of that week, she took us roller skating with several other people. She and Marcia Freemyer were standing against the back wall of the skating rink talking, and mom's feet just rolled out from underneath her. Mrs. Marcia ended up having to help carry my mom to the car, then drive her to the doctor's office. Mom ended up having to have two steel plates and six screws put in her ankle from that incident. She wore a cast for what seemed like forever! Ironically, when mom fell and broke her elbow at the end of May, Mrs. Marcia ended up being the one the the clinic to help take care of my mom, just like she did all those years ago when Mom broke her ankle. Mrs. Marcia was a sweet, sweet friend...

I'm sure there will be more pictures to come!

A conversation and a dream...

My parents were able to come visit Evan, Kendall, and me the weekend before they left for San Diego. Initially, the visit was supposed to be my daddy and Granddaddy Dub to bring all my classroom stuff, but when mom called me to tell me she was getting to go to Cali, the first thing I said was, "I want to see you before you go" to which she replied with, "I know, I want to see you too, I'll beg your dad and see if he will let me come." (She was so sick that traveling was VERY difficult.) I later got an email from my mom that said, "I didn't have to any begging. He said I could come." Funny how God was preparing us then, but we didn't even know it.

Before their visit, I thought some about how that visit might be the last time I got to see my mom. It wasn't something I thought about a lot, but it crossed my mind on several occasions. I think I just wanted to make sure that we had a wonderful visit and that I enjoyed and made the most of our time together. We certainly did. The only regret I have is that I didn't take more pictures, but I kept thinking that when she was home from her surgery I'd take millions of pictures because she wouldn't have that horrible oxygen tube up her nose anymore. Now, I'm going to be that crazy person that whips out my camera everywhere.

The Saturday night that my parents were here, I laid down in the bed with my mom. Nothing out of the ordinary...lots of our conversations through the years were at bedtime. (In fact, before I was married, I think anytime I went home to visit my parents my dad would end up sleeping in his recliner or in the extra bedroom because I would fall asleep in their bed after visiting and watching t.v. with my mom.) While we were laying there talking, I said (with tears in my eyes), "Mom, I've been thinking about how this might be the last time I get to see you." My mom said, "Oh, Leah, don't think like that. Even if something happens and I die, the time that we are separated won't be very long." I told her that I knew all that, and that I just wanted to make sure that our weekend was the best that it could be. She then went on to tell me how glad she was that she got to come to Louisville for the weekend, even if it was just a quick trip and how great the weekend was for her.

Then, I asked my mom if she was scared. She said, "No, I'm not scared of the surgery. I'm only scared of waking up with that breathing tube in my mouth. I'm so excited about the surgery, I can't really be scared. I just can't wait (in the words of Jackson) to be normal again. I know that if something does happen, it's okay, because I will be in Heaven with Jesus."

That was the end of the conversation.

Today, I got an email from my Aunt Judy. In her email, she asked me how I was, then went on to say that she had sad moments everyday and that she and my mom shared so many things, that she longed to hear my mom describe her transport into heaven.

Funny...I'd been thinking about the same thing.

I napped for about two hours with Kendall this afternoon. While I was napping, I had a dream about my mom. Many of the details about the dream are very foggy, but I do remember asking her some questions. I asked her if she knew she was dying that night that she left the hotel, to which she replied with, "I fought it to the end." I also asked her what it was like to go to heaven and in my dream she said, "I can't tell you, but you just need to know that it's amazing." Then, I told her how much I missed her and wished that I could talk to her everyday. She said, "Soon, Leah. Very soon. We won't be separated much longer."

On two different occasions, I've heard this verse in the last few weeks:

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you,because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3

God is peace in the midst of sadness. Remembering the conversation I had with my mom and now this dream brings me such peace, even in the midst of my sadness. I know that our separation, be it 5 years or 50 years, won't be long in eternity's perspective. How I am thankful.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus!

What to do?

I've been wondering what to do with this blog site, now that my mom is in heaven with Jesus. Delete it? End it with a thank-you and just leave it out there in the blog world? I don't really know, so for now, (at the advice of my friend Angie) I've decided to maybe share some pictures and memories of my mom with whoever is still reading this thing. I think it will help me with the grieving process. I've been wanting to make a journal with memories anyway, and it seems these days, it's easier for me to type on a computer than to sit down and write with pen and paper. Plus, it's less clutter.

So here is the first...

This is one of my favorite pictures. It's probably the only picture that my mom didn't write on the back of, and all I can remember is that it was taken at someone's wedding. I also know that the picture was taken in 1982, because of the date stamp. (So, if you read this and you know whose wedding it is, I'd love to know. It looks like the inside of the fellowship hall at Grand Avenue United Methodist Church, but I could be completely wrong.)

As a little girl, I knew exactly which picture album this was in and could go straight to it. To me, my mom was the epitome of beautiful in this picture. She looks absolutely perfect here, which is how I remember her looking most of the time...up until she got sick. I think I also loved this picture because she was playing the piano, one of her favorite things to do. This probably sounds odd, but I knew what my mom's hands sounded like on a keyboard. I could pick her fingers out playing a song like I could pick her voice out of a crowd. I never want to forget that.

Many of my memories involve my mom sitting at a piano. She had a HUGE collection of music, one of the collections being a set of Reader's Digest music books. Out of that Reader's Digest set was a Best Loved Children's Songs (or something along that line) and I remember picking out songs like "The Muppet Show Theme Song", "My Favorite Things," and "Mairzy Doats" for my mom to play so that Kara and I could sing along. She rarely ever told us "no" when we asked her to play the piano for us.

When my dad finally got back to Arkansas and we got to their house on Wednesday, I started going through pictures to make a memory board for the visitation and the funeral. Of course, I went straight to this picture. When daddy and Kara saw this picture (at individual times) they both said, "She looks so pretty." I couldn't agree more.

Funeral arrangements

Visitation for Janice will be held Friday from 5-8 pm at Turpin Funeral Home in Stuttgart.

Funeral service will be held Saturday at 2 pm at Park Avenue Missionary Baptist Church in Stuttgart.

Memories of My Mom

Hello all!

Just a quick word to let you know that while we are all so very sad, we are okay. God is good, all the time, and even in our sadness and pain, we see glimpses of his grace and mercy.

My dad will be in Yuma, Arizona until the autopsy is finished. My Aunt Marva is flying to Arizona tomorrow morning so daddy doesn't have to be by himself. She will ride back to Arkansas with him. He was told the autopsy could possibly be finished by Monday. At this point, we have no idea as far as the day for a visitation or funeral, but I know that everything will be in Stuttgart through Turpin.

I don't know who all reads this blog, but I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear any special memories that ANY of the readers have of my mom. Please, comment or email me. Honestly, it would mean the world to me, and I will share them with my daddy later. I know he would love it, too. If you don't know how to comment, go to this previous post (read to the end) and hopefully you can figure it out. My email is leahsmith8980@yahoo.com.

We will keep you posted as we know more. Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers.

Janice Blackwood Henderson: October 20, 1954 - August 8, 2008

Posted by Evan Smith (Leah's husband):

Leah's dad called us about an hour ago to let Leah know that her mom passed away tonight.

Leah may have mentioned this in her earlier post, but apparently Janice had not been feeling well most of the day and this evening she passed out in their hotel room. She came to and didn't even realize that she had passed out, but her vitals were really low so Roger called 911 and they went to the hospital. She died either on the way to the hospital or shortly after arriving.

We praise God for the fact that Janice is in His presence tonight enjoying a perfectly healed body and taking deep breaths of Heaven's fresh air. But while we rejoice for Janice, we're also sad because she leaves behind a lot of family and friends who are all really going to miss having her here with us.

Roger is still in Yuma and will be for at least a couple of days while the autopsy is performed. He has a family member coming out to help him with the drive home which will take a couple of days. At this point, we don't know anything as far as arrangements, but we will be sure to post information as we get it.

Where in the world are they!?!?!

Sorry for the lack of updating while my parents are traveling...here is the latest:

When I talked to mom and dad today, they were in Tuscon, Arizona. They are thinking they will be in San Diego sometime tomorrow.

Please, please send prayers up for them. I can't remember if I posted this or not, but mom came down with a sinus infection (very normal for her) the day they left. She got a Decadron shot before leaving, which usually helps. Also, daddy said that yesterday and today mom has been sick to her stomach. They are thinking that might have something do do with her oxygen and hoped to have that figured out. I think they didn't make it as far as they wanted to today, which isn't a very big deal, just means they will get to San Diego a little later than planned. (But, they have gained two hours, so it should all work out!)

On the Road

Mom and dad left today for San Diego. There was a little debate about what was best-flying or driving-but after her appointment with Dr. Robbins last week, they decided to drive. Dr. Robbins said that with mom being on such high amounts of liquid oxygen, it would make traveling in an airplane difficult. Anyway, they are planning on driving 5-6 hours a day, so mom doesn't get too tired along the way. I am not completely sure of the route, but dad bought a GPS system to help them on the road.

Evan, Kendall and I had a great visit with them this weekend. You can read all about our visit here. Mom really looks great and seems to feel pretty well for the most part. She must be in tip-top shape for the surgery, so I am praying the traveling doesn't wear her out too much.

Mom and dad wanted me to post this funny story, too...Coby went to Centri-Kid with the kids from my parent's church a couple of weeks ago. At the end of that week, Kara and Jackson went down to my parent's house to spend the night and pick up Coby. As Kara and the boys were leaving, mom asked the boys to come give her a hug and told them it would probably be a while before she would see them again. Jackson immediately asks, "Why won't we see you?" Mom then tells Jackson that she's going to the hospital for a while. Jackson then replies, "Why are you going to the hospital, so you can be normal again?" So...mom is going to the hospital so she can be normal again! Isn't that cute?!?!? Jackson, as wild as he is, is pretty sharp for a five year old!

We SOOO cannot wait for mom to be normal again! I will continue to keep you guys posted on their trip. Please continue to lift my parents up in prayer!