Monday, March 16, 2009

Public Thanks

I just want to give a public thanks for all of you thoughtful people out there.

I have received 4 (2 large, 2 small) Mediterranean Fig candles in the mail, and have cried opening every single one of them. Some of you people are just way more thoughtful, way more insightful than I've ever thought about being. I don't think I would have ever read that on someone's blog and said, "You know what? I'm gonna send her one." I'm trying to get there, but I'm just not. Plus, I'm the world's worst at mailing things. That might have something to do with it. :)

Anyway, the candle I took from my parent's house is all burned up, so it's time to break out one of the new ones.

I'm getting there. I've got some thoughts of things I want to do to pay it forward. It's just making time to carry them out!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

memories

While Kendall was in the bathtub tonight, I was just thinking about how much my mom would be IN LOVE with her and loving this stage of life. Mom loved little babies and toddlers and just had this way with them that I can't even explain. I don't know ANY kid that wasn't attracted to her from the get-go.

For some reason, this one memory came flooding back to me. Last May, when mom fell and broke her arm, Kendall and I flew to AR to help take care of her. That accident just took a complete toll on her, and I remember being so sad about seeing her in that condition. It was bad enough that she had the oxygen tubes and the port tubes, but then a broken elbow on top of all that...it was terrible! One afternoon during the week, I put Kendall down for a nap and then jumped in the shower. When I turned the water off, I could hear Kendall crying, and was trying to hurry to get to her. When I went in the bedroom, there was my mom--broken elbow and all--rocking Kendall, trying to calm her down. Mom, who hadn't been able to hold her all week, says, "I just couldn't stand it anymore. She was just too sad." I know that Kendall will never know her, but I hope she knows how much she was loved by her Maw-Maw.

I also remember that mom's appetite was terrible that week. All the medicine she was on made her very sick and she couldn't keep down anything. I remember thinking, "I cannot believe I am holding a trashcan for my mother to puke inside!" I know this is so random, but I remember her wanting yogurt, and the whole conversation of her trying to explain to daddy over the phone that she wanted the "Dan-Active" yogurt. (If you know my dad, you can imagine how this conversation went down! I am laughing just thinking about it. I can just hear my mom getting louder and saying "Dan-Active" slower and slower.) :) I also remember making fresh guacamole that week, and her raving over how great it tasted.

Why do these random memories come up? Is it just because I'm trying to hang on to every memory I possibly have???