Mother's Day

Last week I started writing a post about Mother's Day, but got busy and never finished it.

Today, I am reflecting. This is so therapeutic for me.

This weekend my dad decided to come and visit. Arkansas had received a lot of rain that was keeping him from working, so he decided to go ahead and take off. I was thrilled, being that I hadn't seen him since Christmas and he's been talking about coming up here for months and it just hadn't worked out.

Before I go on, I don't really know who reads this blog, and it really makes no difference if 10 people read it or 100 people read it because I really just write this stuff to process the events that have happened in the last 9 months. It's EXTREMELY helpful. I just want to be careful with my words.

So, it's no secret that my dad has a special friend that he spends a lot of time with. Her name is June and they have been friends for a long time; they actually graduated high school together.

She came with my dad this weekend.

He asked my permission, and I'll admit that I was very reluctant about saying "yes" at first, just because it was Mother's Day weekend, but really, I could find a million excuses every time he asks as to why I don't want to meet her, so I obliged. Putting off meeting her isn't going to bring my mom back or keep things from changing.

We had a very pleasant weekend. June is very kind and easy to be around. She made herself very comfortable in our home and seemed to enjoy being around Kendall. I like her.

Here are my thoughts on the whole thing:

Really, if I had my choice, my mom would still be living and healthy. That's not going to happen. So, I have to "choose joy" in a situation that I don't really like. The reasons I don't like the situation have nothing to do with my dad or with June, it has to do with the fact that I don't particularly like the fact that God chose to take my mom to heaven with Him. And the reality of that situation is that I have no control and need to understand that God knows best and sees the bigger picture ALWAYS.

Let's just face it, folks. Men just struggle being alone. Especially men that grew up in the era that my dad did. Daddy grew up with two sisters that told me on numerous occasions how they were taught to wait on my Pappaw and him. Then, he married my mom and had two daughters. He doesn't know how to be without women in his life because it's all he's ever known. Bless his heart, he admitted this weekend that he's just been dumping all his clean clothes on the guest bed at their house and not folding them or putting them away!!!

This is uncharted waters for all of us, but inevitable. I think it's difficult to see my dad with someone else, but at the same time have to believe it's just as difficult for him to spend time with someone else after 35 years. I don't think my dad wanting to date someone is any reflection on how much he loved and cared for my mother.

I remember very vividly when one of my friends in middle school lost his mom very suddenly. This friend's dad ended up dating and eventually marrying a friend of my mom's. If I remember correctly, the time that passed was not very long between when my friend's mom died and when their dad remarried. Growing up in a small town, people talked about it. Some thought it was just horrible that he would do that so soon and would hurt his kids that way. You know what I remember? I remember my mom being very happy for them. Sad for the tragedy of the situation and the stress it caused, but glad that two people were able to find companionship with each other.

I would be lying if I said this whole thing is easy for me and no big deal. It's NOT easy, and it IS a big deal. However, I have to play the cards that life has dealt. I know in the process of this I will become stronger, and hopefully be a better person because of it.