My parents were able to come visit Evan, Kendall, and me the weekend before they left for San Diego. Initially, the visit was supposed to be my daddy and Granddaddy Dub to bring all my classroom stuff, but when mom called me to tell me she was getting to go to Cali, the first thing I said was, "I want to see you before you go" to which she replied with, "I know, I want to see you too, I'll beg your dad and see if he will let me come." (She was so sick that traveling was VERY difficult.) I later got an email from my mom that said, "I didn't have to any begging. He said I could come." Funny how God was preparing us then, but we didn't even know it.
Before their visit, I thought some about how that visit might be the last time I got to see my mom. It wasn't something I thought about a lot, but it crossed my mind on several occasions. I think I just wanted to make sure that we had a wonderful visit and that I enjoyed and made the most of our time together. We certainly did. The only regret I have is that I didn't take more pictures, but I kept thinking that when she was home from her surgery I'd take millions of pictures because she wouldn't have that horrible oxygen tube up her nose anymore. Now, I'm going to be that crazy person that whips out my camera everywhere.
The Saturday night that my parents were here, I laid down in the bed with my mom. Nothing out of the ordinary...lots of our conversations through the years were at bedtime. (In fact, before I was married, I think anytime I went home to visit my parents my dad would end up sleeping in his recliner or in the extra bedroom because I would fall asleep in their bed after visiting and watching t.v. with my mom.) While we were laying there talking, I said (with tears in my eyes), "Mom, I've been thinking about how this might be the last time I get to see you." My mom said, "Oh, Leah, don't think like that. Even if something happens and I die, the time that we are separated won't be very long." I told her that I knew all that, and that I just wanted to make sure that our weekend was the best that it could be. She then went on to tell me how glad she was that she got to come to Louisville for the weekend, even if it was just a quick trip and how great the weekend was for her.
Then, I asked my mom if she was scared. She said, "No, I'm not scared of the surgery. I'm only scared of waking up with that breathing tube in my mouth. I'm so excited about the surgery, I can't really be scared. I just can't wait (in the words of Jackson) to be normal again. I know that if something does happen, it's okay, because I will be in Heaven with Jesus."
That was the end of the conversation.
Today, I got an email from my Aunt Judy. In her email, she asked me how I was, then went on to say that she had sad moments everyday and that she and my mom shared so many things, that she longed to hear my mom describe her transport into heaven.
Funny...I'd been thinking about the same thing.
I napped for about two hours with Kendall this afternoon. While I was napping, I had a dream about my mom. Many of the details about the dream are very foggy, but I do remember asking her some questions. I asked her if she knew she was dying that night that she left the hotel, to which she replied with, "I fought it to the end." I also asked her what it was like to go to heaven and in my dream she said, "I can't tell you, but you just need to know that it's amazing." Then, I told her how much I missed her and wished that I could talk to her everyday. She said, "Soon, Leah. Very soon. We won't be separated much longer."
On two different occasions, I've heard this verse in the last few weeks:
Before their visit, I thought some about how that visit might be the last time I got to see my mom. It wasn't something I thought about a lot, but it crossed my mind on several occasions. I think I just wanted to make sure that we had a wonderful visit and that I enjoyed and made the most of our time together. We certainly did. The only regret I have is that I didn't take more pictures, but I kept thinking that when she was home from her surgery I'd take millions of pictures because she wouldn't have that horrible oxygen tube up her nose anymore. Now, I'm going to be that crazy person that whips out my camera everywhere.
The Saturday night that my parents were here, I laid down in the bed with my mom. Nothing out of the ordinary...lots of our conversations through the years were at bedtime. (In fact, before I was married, I think anytime I went home to visit my parents my dad would end up sleeping in his recliner or in the extra bedroom because I would fall asleep in their bed after visiting and watching t.v. with my mom.) While we were laying there talking, I said (with tears in my eyes), "Mom, I've been thinking about how this might be the last time I get to see you." My mom said, "Oh, Leah, don't think like that. Even if something happens and I die, the time that we are separated won't be very long." I told her that I knew all that, and that I just wanted to make sure that our weekend was the best that it could be. She then went on to tell me how glad she was that she got to come to Louisville for the weekend, even if it was just a quick trip and how great the weekend was for her.
Then, I asked my mom if she was scared. She said, "No, I'm not scared of the surgery. I'm only scared of waking up with that breathing tube in my mouth. I'm so excited about the surgery, I can't really be scared. I just can't wait (in the words of Jackson) to be normal again. I know that if something does happen, it's okay, because I will be in Heaven with Jesus."
That was the end of the conversation.
Today, I got an email from my Aunt Judy. In her email, she asked me how I was, then went on to say that she had sad moments everyday and that she and my mom shared so many things, that she longed to hear my mom describe her transport into heaven.
Funny...I'd been thinking about the same thing.
I napped for about two hours with Kendall this afternoon. While I was napping, I had a dream about my mom. Many of the details about the dream are very foggy, but I do remember asking her some questions. I asked her if she knew she was dying that night that she left the hotel, to which she replied with, "I fought it to the end." I also asked her what it was like to go to heaven and in my dream she said, "I can't tell you, but you just need to know that it's amazing." Then, I told her how much I missed her and wished that I could talk to her everyday. She said, "Soon, Leah. Very soon. We won't be separated much longer."
On two different occasions, I've heard this verse in the last few weeks:
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you,because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3
God is peace in the midst of sadness. Remembering the conversation I had with my mom and now this dream brings me such peace, even in the midst of my sadness. I know that our separation, be it 5 years or 50 years, won't be long in eternity's perspective. How I am thankful.
Come quickly, Lord Jesus!
6 comments:
Doesn't God work in such mysterious ways?!?
Leah, I'm so glad you're continuing the blog. I've been coming here everyday except yesterday. I look forward to seeing lots of pictures & hearing your memories. Janice was a very special person & is missed.
That's a wonderful dream. I know it gives you comfort and I don't think it was just by accident that you had that dream. I am still thinking of you and how strong you must be to be going through this and starting a new job. I know it's your faith that keeps you strong and it sets a tremendous example for me! WHEW!
Oh Leah, this brings me to tears...
Holly
I also look at the blog daily. You and your family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Your mom was a beautiful lady and will be missed.
Tremendous blog, thanks. Mom may have mentioned to you a book she had recently read, The Promise, by Robert Morgan. I am reading it now, it can be downloaded at www.promisebookonline.com. If your Dad is not computer savvy you may need to do the download for him. It has blessed me and I am just beginning to read it. At any rate, prayers with all of you and love sent your way. God Bless, Larry
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